These memories of her bathing me throughout my (older) childhood came back and I was able to deal with (some of) it. I took it a step further and asked why I was/am attracted to having sex with my mom's breasts? I have found some freedom in this "masturbation therapy." I heard of a girl who would jack off to fantasies of her brother whenever the gross feelings came upon her and she mentioned being able to finally function immediately after the self-induced orgasm. I question the fantasy itself and sometimes just force myself to ejaculate to it to see what happens.
So, the point is, I don't enjoy it though I'm aroused by it. She is well-endowed and so is her mom which is the only reason I believe my father married her. That said, I still "enjoy" jacking off while imagining my penis right in between her breasts. So it's a time-consuming process is what I'm saying. This opened my up to a world of self-reflection and inner healing. I confronted the fantasy and asked myself why I was having it. I used to masturbate while thinking of sucking my mother's nipples. Many many MANY people on this forum express a sexual attraction to their abusers are to the abuse itself. She still asks me how I'm doing it to see if I'm doing it correctly (I'm 27!) and puts it in my face that she allows her mom to still bathe her when she needs it! My mom has serious mental and emotional attachments issues.
I think this was when I started hating her.
#Telugu incest stories skin#
Her mom would insist on cleansing the skin around my penis. My mom insisted on bathing me until I was 9 or 10.